Disagreements When Buying A Home

Common Things Couples Disagree On When Buying A Home

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So you and your significant other have decided to buy a home.   While this is definitely an exciting time, it could also easily become very trying and stressful.  Can your relationship handle buying a home?


An interesting survey conducted by LendingHome, on millennial and GenX couples (aged 25 to 45) showed an interesting trend - couples who have been together for 5-plus years disagreed frequently, but are more aligned in their goals when searching for a home.


So couples who have been in a longer relationship may be able to withstand the pressure of the homebuying process more successfully.


It is interesting to find out what are the common areas of discord for couples come time to scout for a home.

Disagreements When Buying A Home



This is not a big surprise.  Afterall, a home is probably the most major and largest financial decision a couple will ever make.  According to the survey, 49% of those who participated said that they disagreed about the level of debt they are willing to take on when becoming homeowners.


Agreeing on a budget and how much debt you and your partner are willing to take on is key. How can this issue be resolved?  The best way to get an accurate picture on how much home you can afford is to apply for a mortgage pre-approval. A lender can tell you how much you, as a couple can comfortably borrow based on the financial records that you submit.


However, how much you ”can” borrow, meaning how much a lender is likely to approve as a mortgage loan, may still bring monthly payments beyond your comfort zone. Don’t ignore this and get pushed into more debt than you are comfortable with.


And don’t forget along with mortgage payments, there is also insurance, and most likely higher utility payments, potential HOA payments, private mortgage insurance, and more.

If you have a good realtor, he can help you estimate all of this.  This helps manage your expectations in terms of what houses your real estate agent can show when you are ready to look at houses in earnest.

The Style of House to Buy and Where


One wants a craftsman style home while the other prefers a modern mid century.  What to do?


In the abovementioned survey, it showed that 46% couples disagreed on the look they want for their home.  Women in general, showed preference for traditional or cozy homes in the suburbs or established neighborhoods.  On the flipside, men were more inclined to like modern homes in the city.


And here is where compromise is important. It does not have to just be one or the other.  A home can be a combination of a couple’s individual styles. As in all aspects of a relationship, agreeing on the style of a future home should always be a give and take.

The Size of the Home - Go Bigger?


The survey showed that nearly 45% disagreed on the size of the home they wish to purchase.


Especially if you are coming from a rental situation or if your present home is a bit small, some would want to go “the bigger, the better” route.  But is it?


The important thing to consider, aside from your budget is how much maintenance and housecleaning you are willing to undertake when deciding to go bigger.  If it is a decision that you can comfortably live with as couple, then by all means, go for it.

Turn Key or Fixer Upper?


The survey showed that 43% of couples said renovations were the thing they disagreed about most when buying a home.  Tension can arise when one is an avid HGTV fan who wants a fixer upper and the other party just wants to move in with no fuss.


While a home that needs renovation can initially sound like the more affordable option, make sure that you know what you are getting into.  Doing your research as a couple is a must. If you decide on a fixer upper, it is wise to know how much money and time renovations cost. Experts advise to have a contractor accompany you to a potential future home so he can give an on the spot assessment of what work needs to be done.

The Good News


While there may be a lot of sore spots during the homebuying process, here’s some good news.  The same survey showed that more than 60% of couples said that despite the disagreements, their relationships did not really suffer.  In fact, more than half said that after all was said and done, they felt more committed to each other.

Call Me for the Best Real Estate Advice

As an experienced real estate agent, I can help you through the challenging home buying process.  I will ensure that we find a happy compromise so both of your needs and requirements are fully satisfied.

Call me at 951-333-8065 or click here to set up an appointment.


Tags: Disagreements when buying a home, home buying, home buying considerations, real estate advice, new home budget, home size, home style

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